Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Are we still banned from the library?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
