All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have post one night stand depression
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
