There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
