Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
