hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
