she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just high enough for therapy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
