Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
