So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
