just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
