it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize