it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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