He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
