i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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