This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
