I wish I could teleport
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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