Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
