Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
