im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
