I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i out mim tonsoeep
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