Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
