If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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