You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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