I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
