I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
