Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
