I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
