No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
