Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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