So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
