I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
