one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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