He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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