WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
