This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
