her vagine was all disorganized.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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