is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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