I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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