What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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