That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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