Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do vagina's smell?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
