Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
