Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
