I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
how drunk are you?
Several
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
