There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
