There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
