after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
