just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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