its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
