ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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