hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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