We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
