No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
